by Carla Helené Ezell
We live in a world where success and failure are relative. There are many sides to the truth. One’s perspective plays a larger role in the definition of what is real and what is not more than ever before. And in this altered state of reality, understanding how a “yes” versus a “no” can be murky waters.
Success is not always being told “yes” just as failure does not always evolve around a “ “no”. After all, we cannot control outer stimuli or others’ actions. All we have control over is our reaction or response to the things that happen around us and to us. No matter what one’s lot in life may be, rejection will always be a part of it. But being rejected does not always mean one had failed. The only true failure is giving up. Persistence is therefore, the key to success. What a person does when rejection knocks on the door is what will determine how truly successful they person will be.
Below are five healthy ways to cope with rejection.
1. Recognize it for what it really is. “No” does not always mean no. Sometimes it means, “not yet”. Sometimes it means “no, but...” Learn how to read the situation for what it really is. Is that “no” meant for you or is it some small part of a bigger picture that needs to be brought into better focus with minor adjustments? Are there aspects of the situation that can be changed or compromised to create a “yes”? Ask questions, which leads to number two:
2. Examine the situation. Why did they say “no”? Was it something you said? Was it something you did? Was it something you ate?
Understanding the “why” behind the “no” will open a wealth of other information up to you so you can make well informed decisions and move forward toward achieving the goal you have set for yourself.
3. “It’s not you, it’s me.” Let’s be honest here, this statement is a cop out. It is a classic break-up line used through the ages to supposedly spare the break-upee’s feelings. But when it comes down to it, this statement really is the truth.
A person who uses this excuse to say no is being less than forthcoming with the details despite their reasoning. And if someone refuses to be honest with you, you really cannot build anything of substance with them. Move on.
4. Self reflection. Take a long, hard look in the mirror. How much have you changed over the years? Are these good changes or bad changes? What about you has stayed the same? Are you happy with the person you are today? If you are satisfied with the person you are becoming, by all means, rock on. If you feel less than stellar about who you are, you do not have to continue on the path you are on.
The wonderful thing about being alive is that every moment is yours for the taking. Change. Decide in this moment what your new goals are and start heading in that direction. The only “no” here is the one you tell yourself.
5. Let it go. Move on. Don’t let a rejection determine your final outcome. Life happens to us all and sometimes life hands us a rejection. But the beauty of this is that a “no” in one area can lead you to a “yes” to something even greater. Failure is only failure when you refuse to continue. So shake the dust off your feet and keep moving.
My name is Carla Helené. I am a cheeky naturalista, serial entrepreneur, speaker, educator and self love advocate who encourages women to embrace their truth, love themselves and make margaritas out of life’s lemons. Is there a recipe for this? I’m not sure I but I know we can figure it out together.
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